How to Deal with Conflict
Document Author: Steve McCurley
Date Posted: 4/00
- Clarify what the problem is; clarify what the problem is not.
- Identify any commons goals, values, assumptions.
- Experiment until you find an approach that gets through effectively.
- Keep conversations focused on issues, not personalities.
- Use simple wording to explain your position. Practice your position in advance until you know it well and can say it effectively.
- Rehearse positive interaction before the meeting.
- Keep your attitude positive.
- Clarify what you want/need from the other person. Distinguish between the two.
- Watch out for old attitudes that are interfering with your current effort.
- Make sure your body and verbal language are in agreement.
- Don’t get sidetracked into irrelevant arguments.
- Speak in private if a difficult issue must be addressed.
- Don’t take their dislike personally.
- Don’t discuss them with other people. The walls have both ears and mouths.
- Set a limit on what you will put up with and stick to it.
- Remember that you are not God. ‘Winning’ may only mean arranging a tolerable working relationship, not solving all their personality defects.
- Treat them nice, anyway. If may make them like you or it will, at worst, simply confuse them